Category Archives: Reflection

10 signs your personality is so unique it’s intimidating others

I found a lot of truth in what was posted by Lachlan Brown. So I am copying and pasting over here but all credits due and attributes are explicitly stated and linked . ( )

October 6, 2017October 8, 20174 minute readby Lachlan Brown

There are a number of things about you that might make people take a step back. And they aren’t what you might think.   Having an intimidating personality has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with how people perceive you.

It’s important, however, to be aware of how people perceive you so that you can enjoy fulfilling relationships and understand where others are coming from.   You might find that some of these personality traits are qualities you like about yourself, while some might not be.    Either way, it’s good to know where you stand so you can decide how you want the world to see you.
Here are 10 signs your unique personality is intimidating others.

1) You Stick to Your Word
While being someone people can count on should be a good thing, many people are intimidated by the idea that you do what you said you would do.
This often makes others look bad because let’s face it, more often than not, people slack off in certain areas of their life.

2) You are Candid
You say what you mean and mean what you say. You tell it like it is and that doesn’t always sit well with others.

3) You Keep an Opened Mind
People are so closed off some times that when someone comes along and calls bullshit on their way of thinking, they don’t like that.
You are open to hearing points of view and arguments for both sides of the story. And that makes people uncomfortable sometimes.

4) You Solve Problems
Rather than sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, you take action and find solutions to your problems. That makes others feel like you are leaving them in your dust.

5) You are Stubborn and Strong Willed
One of the reasons you are such a good problem solver is that you don’t take no for an answer, and if you believe there is an answer to be found, you will find it, no matter what.
This can be exhausting for others to understanding and can take up a great deal of your time. Some people will never understand why you can’t let things go.

6) You Loathe Complainers
People who sit around and complain about life instead of getting up and living life aren’t worth your time. You will walk away from people who have nothing better to do than whine about life.
You are out there taking life by the horns, and you know that can be intimidating for some people who are afraid of what might happen if they took the leap of faith you have.

7) You Don’t Support Ignorance
Above all else, you do not tolerate people who are ignorant. Willful ignorance is the worst.
Someone who knows better but chooses to believe the worst things they hear without questioning it for themselves just solidifies their own stupidity. You don’t have time for that, and it makes you the outcast sometimes.

8) You Know Your Stuff
Smart and sassy, strong and resourceful, you can walk into a room and size it up for what it is and can walk the walk while you do it.
You can talk to people from all walks of life and can carry on a conversation even if it’s over your head because you listen to what people are saying. There’s a lot of folks who won’t like that about you, but that’s their problem.

9) You Think Small Talk is a Bore
You have better things to do than talk about the weather and the basketball game. You have places to be and people to see and things to accomplish.
Your go-getter attitude is moving you up the ladder in life, but many people won’t like that you work so hard.

10) You Can Be Kind
You know when it’s time to take a break and pay attention to those that matter most to you. No matter how big or small someone is in your life, you make sure they know you care about them.
It’s this balance that makes you the most intimidating to people: you can get stuff done and you are a nice person? Well, damn.  Regardless of what people think of you, you know that what is important is what you think of yourself and where you are going.
So despite the fact that you might be upsetting a few people along your way, you don’t really care. Your strong personality allows you to live the life you want without regret.

Everything else is not your problem.
Oct 6, 2017Lachlan Brown

Wheels of Enlightenment : love and wisdom

Love without wisdom is blind.
Wisdom without love is powerless.
Love and wisdom complements and complete each other.

Life become a quest when we sincerely pursue both love and wisdom.
Life become a burden when instead of finding love and wisdom we found material satisfaction. Fame, fortune and power blind us and consume us.

The day we realised it is a burden is the day that we realise that love and wisdom are within.

We come home when the heart and mind is quietened.

Thinking, Reality And the Great Divide

There is a recent psychological adage that had been used very effectively to manipulate the masses through the use of communication media such as the internet, radio and tv programmes. “Perception is reality” had been used to great effect by “communication consultant” .

When Buddha started teaching more than 2500 years ago he also explained in great detail how our believes and our belief system are formed. From these believes arose our thoughts, speech and our actions.

All of us will do well if we understood how our minds are being manipulated by the media and perhaps even those who sought to do us harm. The constant refrain “we are not stupid we can think” seemed to be the basis and confidence we have in the conclusions we have formed. And when we can’t think or fit the pieces together we would come up with catchy phrases like “he must think we are stupid to believe what he said” or “well he is a liar” etc. Perhaps the most interesting I have heard was “he is intelligent, you can not out talk him – so don’t talk to him” . We are so afraid that our precious worldview would be destroyed. We reject that which could not fit into our precious belief system, no matter how distorted, warped or untrue. We defend our belief system even if there is no basis for it. We constantly search for support or evidences for our beliefs. Truth be damned . Truth is then sacrificed on the altar of our delusions and mistaken beliefs.

We could think and indeed our entire worldview is formed and shape from thinking. The mind cannot see in “whole” so what it does is to collect little pieces here and there to fit into a storyline that was usually presented to us or was already in our own mindstream. Media professionals in trying to manipulate us would give us pieces of information, whether there is a basis for it or not is less important and then give us a storyline that we could swallow. The more logical and the more authority there is the more believable and acceptable the propaganda is. Are we thinking ? Or are we  GIVEN all the information that we needed to form an informed decision on the compelling conclusion that was also fed to us.

We must always be mindful that there is always a great divide, a disconnect between what we believe and what is really out there. Scientific method recognised this and this was why ALL SCIENTIFIC AND RATIONAL CONCLUSIONS ARE TENTATIVE.

Buddha’s spiritual technique of dropping ALL thinking and just watch is about creating space within our mindstream so that our innate wisdom could arise. Direct perception then become possible.

Emptiness and Scinetific Inquiry

“The result of non-spiritual scientific theory is the creation of substantial phenomena”…….HH Tinley Norbu Rinpoche.

Spiritual theory do not create anything. What science is attempting to do is to understand the phenomenal world. It would appeared that over the last 100 year or so scientific understanding had moved from the substantial to the insubstantial.

“The intention of Buddhism is to create substance-less light phenomena”
…HH Tinley Norbu Rinpoche.

Buddhism do not create anything either. Our cultivation lead us towards the wisdom mind. Such a mind is non discriminating in that there is no distinction between what is substantial and what is insubstantial.

The congruence of understanding of science and that of spiritual realisation is no accident. The vocabulary are different but ultimately phenomenal and nuomenal world are neither same nor not-same but intricately entwined. The wisdom mine discern the dynamics and its essence but is never able to reveal it. It is only a mystery because the intellect with its concepts and language can never adequately represent or elucidate it.

Oneness and emptiness

A mind that perceives Oneness is neither reality nor Oneness. Oneness is never perceived but a state of being. A perceived Oneness is describable. Oneness as a state of being is indescribable.
A state of being of Oneness is a meditative state in the “other reality”. To live in the physical reality we need to engage our mind – even a Buddha.  Buddha had to use delusive terms as it fits into our perception of reality. Buddha would have been
branded a nut-case if he had used anything else.

This is emptiness.

The forbidden fruit

In the bible God had commanded Adam and Eve not to eat from the tree of knowledge. If they eat of the fruit they will know good and bad and will lose their everlasting life. Interestingly knowledge and knowing good and bad introduced imperfection or sin into mankind.

One would have thought that if we know what is good and bad that would be a good thing. Intellectually we would have thought that the God of the bible is really a dumb God. When we lack discernment and wisdom we would form such conclusion but in truth we are the one who is dumb.

The intellect, by its very nature, can never be complete. Our over reliance on it and the certainty and comfort it provided us made intellect a new object of worship. Rationality and objectivism are elevated to the status of sacrosanct. In our cleverness we will always miss the truth and justice will never flow but trickle like dew drops deep within the forest on a cold morning.  Godel incompleteness theorem ensure us that we will always miss if intellect is our primary and sole instrument of perceiving the world. 

Eastern spiritual tradition had always been suspicious of the intellect. Spiritual progress and the attendant wisdom is in proportion to how much we could abandon our intellect. 

How does insights and truths arose within our consciousness ?  After much fighting and warring in  Israel God commanded, through Isaiah, the israelites a simple formula for coming home to God and godliness ; "be still and know that I am God."

Stillness create the space in our hearts for our innate nature , or God’s spirit as a friend put it once, to "speak" to us.

Do not worry it won’t be a "voice in your head" but deep clarity and understanding which is beyond words.

A good man and a crooked man

I found this from soc.culture.malaysia

A good man and a crooked man

A good man while it is great to be gifted, virtuous to be honest and
honourable to be caring.

A person with these 3 qualities will never do well in this life comparatively.
He maybe happy with the little he has and live well. The lightness of being.

However he will end being society reject, doing his own little things to past each day.

A public successful person is hardly gifted, with conditional honesty and
public sees him as caring.

A successful person is shut off from a good man. The successful crook knows
the crook and never believe in any man that good.

Choose your life carefully.

—————And my 2 cents worth ————————————

  The flow of life is only easy and unencumbered when success and failure has no meaning. Society seldom can accept such a person and by the very nature of the person he can never be rejected.

As I Get Older I Ponder…..

As I Get Older I Ponder...

1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even
  get into my own pants.

2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a

3. I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it.
  So I said, "Implants?" She hit me.

4. I don't do drugs. At my age I get the same effect just
  standing up fast.

5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one

6. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many
  of them get elected.

7. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and

8. I love being married. It's so great to find that one
  special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

9. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like
  having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

10. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want
   to see naked?

11. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but,
   a true friend will be sitting next to you saying,
   "Sh1t...that was fun!"

12. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear
   loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting
   clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

13. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I
   just "chunky dunk."

14. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life
   we could simply press "Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

15. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall

16. Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells
   go, but FAT cells live forever.

17 Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
                 --- Author Unknown ---


—————————————– —————————————
A Smile costs nothing, but gives much.

It enriches those who receive, without making poorer those who give.

It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.

None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it,  and none is so poor, but that he can be made rich by it.

A Smile creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in business,
        and is the countersign of friendship.

It brings rest to the weary, cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,
        and it is nature’s best antidote for trouble.

Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen,
          for it is something that is of no value to anyone, until it is given away.

Some people are too tired to give you a smile;
       Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no
               more to give.

~~ Author Unknown ~~

Carpe Diem

Carpe Diem

Once Confucius had a student who seem to complain about everything and anything. Then one day while passing through a graveyard he called this student up and asked him to look at the graveyard. "Those people there have no more problems."

In the movie "Dead Poet Society" the teacher in trying to convince his students not to throw away their life in frivolity called the class togather round the portraits of some of the great men that had graduated from that school. A hush fell over the group and he asked them to listen intensely as to what these men were saying. When the silence was pregnant with anticipation the teacher gently whispered "Carpe Diem"…"Carpe Diem" – "Seize the day".  And he ended by saying that those great men are now "feeding the daffodils."

We live in or perhaps trapped in the world of our own making. Our own mundane and selfish concerns often filled our day. We often think that all these will bring us happiness. We strive for attention, to look pretty, to behave appropriately, to struggle for the next promotion and often stabbing others in the back to get at it etc.  When our precious little world is threatened or some how dented by the presence of another we do all we could to either diminish or remove the perceived threat. So we resort to rumour mongering, creative reframing of who the person is, add a little mud on the other person’s character etc. and we walk away feeling high and mighty.  In so doing we actually deny ourselves the opportunity to really know the person and in the process grow from it. We are comforted by the little prison that we create for ourselves.

Carpe Diem – can only take place if we learn to grow beyond our delusions. It is within these delusions that we conjure up images of the people we relate to.  We never really relate with another, not even our lover – a person that we had chosen to unite body, mind and spirit. What we relate to is our images of the person. The way we respond to sensory objects(including our mind objects) all depend on what we hold of the events and persons within our own mind. If it is someone we like it brought about a smile. If it is someone we despise we become upset and filled with ill-will.

    Some times when we realised that the person approaching wasn’t whom we had expected we felt silly.  We are all caught up in a emotional roller-coaster of our own making and think that we are actually sane and is able to hold all of these together.  

    In short our relationship with another is a relationship with our delusional images within our own mindstream. And these had been formed from our experiences, conditioning, past life, upbringing etc. 

    To truly seize the day we have to go beyond our delusions otherwise we would again be deluding ourselves that we had really lived a meaningful and useful life. The will to meaning is so strong within our own psyche that psychologists are convinced that it is a path towards happiness and mental well-being. Again these are social trappings and disguises that we create to dress up the prison of our mind.

    When we truly seize the day our whole consciousness, our whole being is totally immersed in it. It has no meaning nor does it seek meaning. In seeking the day is lost,  in getting we snuffed the life out of it. It is like trying to catch a bird and our life is needlessly consumed in the process. And when we managed to catch it, we would have snuffed out the life of the bird. In catching, flight is lost and we can only saviour the empty shell of a bird. And to us this is meaning and happiness.

      Can we go about our day without meaning or purpose ?

      Seize the day or before long we will all be feeding the daffodils as well.